The New York Times recently reported that nearly one in five high school age boys in the United States and 11 percent of school-age children overall have received a medical diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), according to new data from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

I consulted with Dr. Bombay, a friend and noted psychologist on the matter. “The medical community has made great strides in recent years in our efforts to eradicate all symptoms of boyhood,” said Dr. Bombay. “We are pleased with the results of some cutting-edge drug treatments. So far we have contained impishness and almost eliminated joy and high spirits.”

I asked the good doctor what he expected next, “We have struggled with behaviors in the rascally spectrum. These are definitely on our radar.”